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Testimonies


1
Rose Addington


I have spent the last 45 minutes or so in my room talking out loud to our Father God and Jesus Christ.  It began as a prayer with me praying for my children and their families, my friends and their families, our church body, and for our pastors.  I asked Father to forgive me of my sins, I repented of using my tongue for anything but good, and any other sins I’ve committed without thinking.

To begin this testimony, I must tell you that about a few weeks ago, I was asleep and awoke to a song by Nicole Mullen called “One Touch”.  I often listen to soft Christian music or pastors on my TV, who I respect, as I fall asleep.  Anyway, I kept my eyes closed, except to look to see who was singing it, and the name of the song. The next day I downloaded it, and I weep every time I hear it. I would love to play it for you all if I could. Please look for it.

Anyway, you all know I have been in and out of the hospital frequently since January - all because of how sick the chemo makes me.  Most recently, I was there for 10 days, following by my return to chemo two weeks ago this Monday - and until one day ago, I could not eat, sit up or walk across the room from weakness.  I am now much stronger, and had made the decisions to walk by faith, not by sight, and to put my health in the hands of our Lord.  I have talked to some of my friends, and to Pastor Ed, specifically concerning this, but I changed my mind every other day.  As you know, back in 2007, I had a dream or vision, where among other things, the Lord told me He had closed my eye so that I would walk by faith and not by sight, and that “they” need to see a miracle. (I didn’t know who “they” was - but it could be my children - it could be all of us here.)

Okay, after my asking forgiveness, and praying for my families, I began talking out loud sitting straight up in my bed in the dark.  I thanked God for the two angels I have seen in the last 6 years, and acknowledged out loud that I know I have angels with me now as well, and that the Holy Spirit in me echoes my heart’s desires to the Lord.  I asked him for more wisdom and more faith in this decision regarding my chemo.  I had even toyed with the idea to ask for lower doses of chemo - straddling the fence.

I told the Lord I wanted to live a long time, and for Him to use me to His glory. That however long or short my life was, to let my life bring Glory to His Name.  So I laid there in the darkness, and told Him I knew His voice, but to please remove any unbelief from my thoughts as I listened for Him.  At first I found my mind wandering about worldly things, but caught myself each time.  I cast Satan and my own fleshly weakness out, and then I asked God for two scriptures that would help me with my unbelief and with my faith to know it was Him.  I also told the Lord I surrender it all, as long as He uses me.

Except for a few scriptures, I cannot quote them by book and verse.  I know what Jesus said, but have a hard time with my memory. I heard Luke 24:35, where Jesus appears after His ressurection and says, “Peace be with you” and Matthew 17:20, which deals with unbelief and faith as a mustard seed.  I cried and cried.

I began talking out loud in the darkness again, and told the Lord I knew I was once the woman at the well, but also, how I identified with the woman with the issue of blood.  Now I know the story well, although I am not sure where it can be found.  As I talked out loud to the Father and Son, I raised my hands and through my sobbing told the Lord I believe, I believe.  I told Him that just as she was cast outside the city gates away from her family, her friends and her temple, that’s how I feel when I’m in the hospital and too sick at home to get my own glass of water, much less go to church.  I told him I know how it feels when people stare at my pale face, my eye that doesn’t open, or worse yet, to be “outside” my church physically and alone at home.  She had spent all she had and then some chasing doctors. I have done the same.

She crawled through the crowds anyway, risking it all, just to touch the hem of His garment. She was scared, not only because of the crowd, but of possible wrath from our Lord. I know if I have enough faith to believe He alone can and has done this for me, and if I heard it from Him just as she did, I could walk in faith.

I raised my hands and through tears with a barely audible voice, I reached for Him.  My fingers grasped at His robe right there in my room, and I said, "Father God, please strengthen my faith so that I’m drawn close enough to touch Him."

I laid back and a peace came over me.  I asked God once more to take me to a scripture to confirm my divine broken-heartedness and pure joy and peace.  I laid there quietly, and pressed upon my spirit was Mark 5:25.  I’m going to be completely honest, this is one book I have never read.  So I turned on my lamp, turned to Mark 5:25 and began to read out loud to myself the story of the woman who just had to touch the hem of His robe and knew she would be healed!  I was crying, my heart was leaping out of my chest, and I could barely mutter, “Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.”

I marked it so I wouldn’t lose it ever again, and I thanked God over and over.  Then I started to laugh and cry.

Then I got up and wrote this all down not only for myself, but in the hopes that Pastor, you would let me share it on Sunday.

Needless to say, by the time you read this, I will be calling my doctor to tell her I don’t need to discuss it with her anymore and that I know what God has told me He is doing in my life.  By faith, I will be made whole in every way, and the Lord will use me smooth or rough.  My faith that comes from the Lord will leave me with not only my hands touching His robe in Spirit, but my entire life like a purring kitten curled up in the hands of the Master as I begIn to live again.

Written by Rose
1:30 a.m. Friday morning July 31, 2009

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